@GinRumMe: Don't go chasin' waterfalls. If a waterfall isn't staying in place you probably have bigger things to worry about. Run for your life.
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@uccjeb: Just killed a spider IN MY BED!! So if you need me, I'll be burning down my home and looking for a new place to live.
@sixfootcandy: Him: There's something special about you. Me: Some people tell me I smell like stinky cheese. *His eyes glaze over* I love stinky cheese.
@BackrowSeats: This beautiful woman is winking at me. Now she's using the other eye. Never mind, she's just falling asleep.