@squirrel74wkgn: Don’t let the cargo shorts and flip flops fool you...I’m not the sex symbol you may think I am.
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@3sunzzz: I am a mother, of course I talk to myself. I am the only one in this house that listens.
@Jmboyd58: When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes spread all over my bedroom...so my wife can clean up after me one more time.
@dafloydsta: ME: I think it's time I get my life in order. MORGAN FREEMAN: But he would not get his life in order. In fact, he got drunk that night and fought a raccoon.
@mattytalks: I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in