you are not alone. theres bugs
Don’t tell me how to run my account and I won’t make a voodoo doll just to dunk your head in the toilet.
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Having my wisdom teeth pulled.
They have nothing left to teach me.
I must learn on my own from now on.
🎶 I get knocked down, but I get up again.. 🎶
[whack-a-mole just goin nuts in the crowd]
“Aw hell yeah!”
30% of Satan’s workday is responding to accidental summonings caused by predictive typing.
Me: There is a small tree on fire.
911: Could you describe it?
Me:Picture shrubbery…now picture it engulfed in flames.
They’re creepy and they’re kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They’re all together ooky
The Twitter Family
I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife.
Wife: What you doing?
Husband: Missing you.
WHAT DO WE WANT!?
A forum for passive aggressive behavior!
WHEN do we want it?
NOW would be great but you seem busy sooo whatever.
*smile calls police*