@heyevergreen: Don't tell me to "relax" and then get mad when I pee my pants.
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@TheDailySchmuck: 1995: one day the Internet will allow all people access to the full breadth of human knowledge. 2016: *watching cat videos*
@BlindVigil: Fact: men are never too busy for sex. It's been clinically proven, 9 out of 10 men will find time for sex while fleeing a burning building.
@Home_Halfway: SON: Dad what is that? ME: *Trying to remember the name of a whale* Boy that's a sea moose