@JustHadOneJob

Don’t tell me what to do.

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@daemonic3

[interview]

Any questions?

“Why isn’t Bigfoot called Bigfeet?”

No about working here

“Oh! If he worked here would you call him Bigfeet?”

@TheSharona06

Sent him a pic and he replied “BOOM!!” Trying to figure out if that means he liked it or he threw himself on a grenade.

@AnniemuMary

You think you’re tired? Try being a child who’s been asked to put away their own laundry that’s been washed, folded and delivered to their room for them.

@McNevich

Had pumpkin flavored coffee this morning and immediately signed up for a Zumba class and kidnapped 2 kids and drove them to a soccer field

@KissabiX

The Lion King is my favourite film outlining why you shouldn’t trust your uncle

@BradBroaddus

My rear view mirror broke off. No biggie, I’ll just put one of my contact lenses in backwards.

@AustinSommer

If you spin an oriental person around until they get dizzy, do they become disoriented? #LifeQuestions

@LostFelicia

Pretty sure I burned off a print making dinner, so if anyone needs my right middle finger for doing crimes, hit me up.

@OneyeBogey

Something extremely foolish must be done about all this.