@ShittyComedian: Don't you hate it when you're so high on drugs that simple, everyday, mundane tasks become difficult? Anyway, I pissed on your sofa.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@justinbieber: Call me maybe by Carly Rae Jepson is possibly the catchiest song I've ever heard lol
@sammyrhodes: Letting Russia host the Winter Olympics feels a little bit like letting Voldemort host the Quidditch Cup.
@HatfieldAnne: Pretending that you're feeding the garbage disposal like a hungry baby bird does not hurt anyone.