@SimplySnaccbar

Dora: what was your favorite part of our journey?

Me: I liked the part where we went over the purple bridge into the candy forest.

Dora: *stares blankly*

Me:

Dora:

Me:

Dora:

Me:

Dora:

Me: *nervous sweating*

Dora: that was my favorite part too!

Me: Oh thank god

You Might Also Like

@batkaren

Why just pufferfish? Why not other pufferanimals?

Why not a pufferpuma?

@dhumann

[speed dating]

Me: “Facebook or Twitter?”

Her: “Face…”

Me: “Have a nice life.”

@causticbob

What does a corpse and snow have in common? They are both cold and are hilarious to throw at unsuspecting children.

@psybermonkey

Friend: you’ve been acting weird ever since you won that hundred dollars

Me: what ever do you mean, old sport?

@ch000ch

God: have u gathered 2 of every animal?

Noah: yes

God: including the dinosaurs?

CUT TO: NOAH RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE AFTER TRYING TO CATCH A DINOSAUR

Noah: ….ya

@ninjadinosaur1

‘They’ll be searching for days!’ I giggle as I leave ‘sorry bout the damage notes’ on random cars at the Costco

@AndrewsNotFunny

Him: dude I love clubs, they’re great for picking up chicks

Me *nodding thoughtfully* girls love sandwiches

@stephenszczerba

I never thought I’d walk into a bank with a mask on and hand over my own money to the teller