My band is so indie we don’t even record together. You have to buy 4 separate cds and play them at the same time.
DORA: “What was YOUR favorite part?!”
DORA: “I like that part too.”
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Toddler: *babbling nonsense*
Me: Ok, got it!
Narrator: But she did not “got it” And this would make the toddler very angry.
Doctor: You suffer from delusions
Me: I don’t think so
Doctor: They seem real but they’re not
Stuart Little: He’s lying to you
Me: Yeah I know
You have to appreciate the microwave when the directions on a frozen meal say, “Cook on High for 2 minutes. Or put it in a conventional oven for five days.”
Her: So, what do you do to unwind?
Mummy: I avoid that at all costs.
me: I hate boxes and how they hold food so well! almost TOO good!
inventor of cornucopia: sir, do i have something to show you
As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me
Waiter: Can I get you something to drink?
Me: just cheese dip
Me: With a straw please
As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices – take it or leave it.
it’s the silliest best thing