@70Ceeks

DORA: “What was YOUR favorite part?!”
ME:
DORA:
ME:
DORA: “I like that part too.”

You Might Also Like

@Mike_Bianchi

My band is so indie we don’t even record together. You have to buy 4 separate cds and play them at the same time.

@UnfilteredMama

Toddler: *babbling nonsense*

Me: Ok, got it!

Narrator: But she did not “got it” And this would make the toddler very angry.

@ArfMeasures

Doctor: You suffer from delusions

Me: I don’t think so

Doctor: They seem real but they’re not

Stuart Little: He’s lying to you

Me: Yeah I know

@curlycomedy

You have to appreciate the microwave when the directions on a frozen meal say, “Cook on High for 2 minutes. Or put it in a conventional oven for five days.”

@stevevsninjas

[speed dating]
Her: So, what do you do to unwind?
Mummy: I avoid that at all costs.

@Karate_Horse

me: I hate boxes and how they hold food so well! almost TOO good!
inventor of cornucopia: sir, do i have something to show you

@brynnester

As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me

@LuvPug

Waiter: Can I get you something to drink?
Me: just cheese dip
Waiter: ….
Me: With a straw please

@ricsem

As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices – take it or leave it.