You cloned a sheep named Dolly when you could have cloned a llama. A llama named Dolly. A Dolly Llama.
That is all. Send.
DR DOG: *applying a cast to a broken bone* Are you sure you don’t just want me to cut it off?
You Might Also Like
Owner: What makes you qualified to be the new zookeeper?
Me: I found the place
Me: Finders keepers
Owner: *leans back in chair* Well damn
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70’s when Grease came out to notice that every “student” at Rydell High looked like they were 35
“That’s what” – She
I’d have more sympathy for Sony’s alleged loss of $200 million if that weren’t the cost of like three large popcorns at any movie theater.
Fun prank: ONLY explain gay marriage to your kids and then watch other people try to explain their weird straight marriages.
Don’t fall in love with your therapist they are crazier than you are.
Stopping to get donuts for the office only works as an excuse for being late if the box isn’t empty.
My 8yo just said she’s “lactose intelligent,” so hit her up with any pressing dairy questions.
MAGICIAN: i will now make my assistant disappear
ASSISTANT: *covers eyes with hands*
AUDIENCE FULL OF BABIES: *gasp with wonder and delight*