“There Will Be Blood” is my favorite movie that answers the question, “Will blood be there?”
D: *sighs* Did you stick an orange up your rectum
*orange falls out onto floor*
M: *mumbles* yes
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Toy Story (1995) – A cowboy & a deluded astronaut battle over who gets to sleep with a 6-year-old boy.
If pigs could fly it would make this pig catapult that I just built completely obsolete.
Dr: I’m sorry. we lost her
Dr: but we think she was moved to the adjacent wing of the hospital
Dr: that’s where the morgue is
Me: [opens front facing camera at a funeral and starts crying]
“he must’ve meant a lot to her.”
flight attendant: sir, are you raising your hand
me: how do i access the wifi
fa: im doing safety announcements
me: is that lowercase
I dated a woman once.
Most confusing twenty minutes of my life.
I’m sorry I ate your food but you just kept taking pics of it instead of eating it.
If you speak like Fat Albert throughout the entire exam, doctors will prescribe whatever you want.