@caperbc75

Dr: …
Me: …
D: …
M: …
D: *sighs* Did you stick an orange up your rectum
M: No
*orange falls out onto floor*
D: …
M: *mumbles* yes

You Might Also Like

@ArielDumas

“There Will Be Blood” is my favorite movie that answers the question, “Will blood be there?”

@Tmoney68

Toy Story (1995) – A cowboy & a deluded astronaut battle over who gets to sleep with a 6-year-old boy.

@TheIronSherk

If pigs could fly it would make this pig catapult that I just built completely obsolete.

@dysondoc

Monday: Greg

Tuesday: Ian

Wednesday: Greg

Thursday: Ian

Friday: Greg

Gregorian Calendar.

@psybermonkey

Dr: I’m sorry. we lost her

Husband: what??

Dr: but we think she was moved to the adjacent wing of the hospital

Husband: oh

Dr: that’s where the morgue is

@Sassafrantz

Me: [opens front facing camera at a funeral and starts crying]

“he must’ve meant a lot to her.”

@droidbears

flight attendant: sir, are you raising your hand

me: how do i access the wifi

fa: im doing safety announcements

me: is that lowercase

@titletown__

I dated a woman once.

Most confusing twenty minutes of my life.

@anerdonfire2

I’m sorry I ate your food but you just kept taking pics of it instead of eating it.

@aveuaskew

If you speak like Fat Albert throughout the entire exam, doctors will prescribe whatever you want.