Rejected Pixar Movie Titles:
Find My Fish Son
A Rat Cooked This
Ugh, We Gotta Find Another Fish
Draw me like one of your French Fries.
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ME: This is my newborn, straight from the hospital.
OTHER PARENT: You’re parenting wrong.
Freak parents out on Facebook by posting, “Just read a health article about how a camera flash causes diabetes in kids under the age of 10.”
Forgot my Fitbit because it was charging and now it’s like I walked for no reason.
This day in history. 1950. The FBI put out its first 10 Most Wanted list and my dad lost a bet because only 2 of the guys were his brothers.
[tour of zoo]
kid: “i think its a elephant”
me: “are you giving the tour”
me: “anyway as i was saying this is the big snake face thing”
Toy Story (1995) – A influential local leader harasses an immigrant who is struggling to adapt to local customs.
CW: Allergy season! Is there something in here irritating you?
You used to call me on my spell phone