*holds a grudge
Grudge: Get off me.
Dude warned me he doesn’t always respond to texts right away.
It’s been 476 days. Dude wasn’t playin
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Today I found out my nephew is scared of the vacuum..
Today I also found out I have a very dark cruel evil side to me..
IDGAF if you’re black, white, yellow, brown or blue.
Well, I do if you’re blue, I’ll stop and give you CPR if you’re blue.
You know you’re suffering from stress when you have too much on your plate and it isn’t food.
“If you get me to the next station I promise I’ll never let you fall below half a tank again” – A Memoir
*summoning demonic forces to overthrow the zoo employees*
Can’t, I’m fighting over the space heater with the cat
Wife: “The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie.” Husband: “Which is this?”