Me: Sorry I have terrible anxiety and get picnic attacks.
Her: You mean panic attacks?
Me: *pulling basket out* Oh god make it stop
Me: So do you LIKE like me or
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Asian gangs, also known as study groups..
Four dentists: Use this toothpaste that prevents cavities
Fifth dentist: You guys know how we make a living, right?
Meanwhile, at the White House… #matwh
flight: scheduled to depart at 3 pm
my parents at 4 am:
Im sorry I yelled “GARY LIKED STAR WARS EPISODE ONE” when the pastor asked if anyone knew of a reason why you and Gary shouldn’t be married
[I see a bug outside] Nature is marvelous
[I see a bug inside] This must be the deliverer of my death
Got so high last night we searched for my friend for half an hour while he helped us look
COP: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
ME: “So it wouldn’t be windy when we talked.”
We’ve all been talking about your paranoia.