@LuckoftheDraw86

E-Harmony Rep: And here’s your starter cat-
Me: What?
Rep: Here’s your starter pack.
Me: You said cat.
Rep:
Me:
Rep:
Me:
Rep: *folder meows*

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This horse is a great reminder that our generation did not invent shitposting, it merely adapted it to another form

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@Michael1979

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@coolauntV

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me: *opens soda can*

them:

me: *opens then starts loudly crunching corn nuts*

them: Shhhh

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@slaughthie

I asked when my gym membership was up and the dude said “day before Valentine’s Day” like I’m some genius who knows when Valentine’s Day is.

@lmwortho

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@TheJessicaLong

The little girl behind me asked her mom what murder was, confirming my suspicious that Sesame Street doesn’t prepare you for the real world.

@mommajessiec

Body: I need water.

Me: Diet Coke?

Body: No, water.

Me: Wine?

Body: NO, WATER!

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@djdarrellripley

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