A thoughtful Romcom about mansplaining called “Well, Actually”
Each year I get invited to go on vacation with the same group of annoying people but I can’t say no because they’re my husband & children.
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The Macarena began playing through the dental office speakers as I lied helpless with the hygienist’s hands in my mouth today. #survivor
Feet is the plural of Foot
Geese is the plural of Goose
So by extension, stop calling it Jeep, it is only one Joop
Surprise your family by quitting your job and becoming a coffee table.
Really discouraging that there’s still bald people in sci fi movies.
Manager: Why do you want to work at Comcast?
Applicant: I’ll get you an answer in about a week.
Manager: Brilliant! You’re hired.
When you find the right person, hang on to them with all your might, cuz getting any help at Home Depot can take forever.
Son: how will I know when I’m a grown-up?
Me: certain foods will make your stomach hurt.
If your kid texts you questions about the price of replacing any household item, you will be replacing said item.