Your password doesn’t remember you either. He moved on. He’s someone else’s password now.
Easiest way to break into a moble home in a trailer park is to use a can opener.
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Any speed can be ‘breakneck’ speed if you’re clumsy enough.
“I’m not a violent person but people can change”, I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food.
My dream job? That’s easy:
Be one of those Muppets that sit up in balcony making fun of everyone.
That’s Old School Twitter.
How long do you have to wait between naps?
ME: Roast beef, please.
HIM: Six inch or foot long?
ME: I gotta ask you something.
ME: How do you say that without laughing?
HIM: Corporate actually teaches a class.
HIM: Yup. You want extra meat, big guy?
“I’VE BEEN KICKED OUT OF CLASSIER BARS THAN THIS,” I scream at my house
I wrote a book titled:
How Dragons Are Greater Than Unicorns
Daenerys Targaryen wrote the foreword.
All she wrote was: No shit Sherlock!
Having daughters is great if you want to get yelled at every time you hit a butterfly with your car.