@yoyoha

“Eat her already!” – Animal watching people kissing

You Might Also Like

@

a:2:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:”user”;s:6:”kaz474″;s:5:”image”;s:90:”http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/3724614596/fcd3cb35f126d08ed3b0fad9c2d79ba5_bigger.jpeg”;s:6:”id_str”;s:18:”258757088577191937″;s:7:”retweet”;s:2:”61″;s:5:”tweet”;s:87:”Some people seem to take the question “how stupid can you be?” as a personal challenge.”;}s:7:”retweet”;i:0;}

@MatCro

[meeting]

BOSS: We need a name that gives us a good ad slogan

ME: Perhapselline?

MY NEMESIS GARY: Maybelline?

B: You’re incredible, Gary

@AntozWolf

Give a man fish and you’ll feed him for a day…… Give a fish a man and you’re probably in the Mafia

@Contwixt

My niece asked me what it’s like to be an uncle, so we got a feral cat from a shelter, chased it around for a bit, then took it back.

@wildethingy

Her: could things get any worse?
Me: *adds raisins* there you go.

@CelticMoonDance

I’m beginning to question your proclamation of your “spiritual gifts”. You are about as intuitive as my autocorrect.

@SoNotThePoint_

I’d never go on a dating website.
I believe in meeting guys the old fashioned way, hitchhiking.

@LOsepyan

Yes, your honor, but in my defense I thought he was stung by a jellyfish

@UncleDuke1969

I can’t believe that somebody abandoned this perfectly good clothes rack.

@ruinedpicnic

[Terrorist tears open undercover FBI agent’s jacket]
Terrorist: FBI?
Agent: uhhh
Terrorist: hey guys this dude is a Female Body Inspector