@SRbeta: Eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables.
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@david8hughes: [picking son up from soccer practice] Me: how was it? Coach: he did very well Me: how many goals did you score? Son: none Me: right well one of you is a liar then
@novicefather: [glances toward living room stenographer] "Please read back what my wife said 45 seconds ago." stenographer: I promise not to get mad