@TheIronSherk: Eating a block of cheese is probably the most delicious way to figure out it's time to get some groceries.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@canunots: parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock! clock: 11:01 me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now
@dongfuture: *stops walking* Wait, I think there’s a stone in my shoe *takes off shoe, shakes it upside down* *Mick Jagger hits the ground with a thud*
@RobElliottComic: When I order delivery online and there's a "Notes" box I put "Ring bell, Cross moat, SLAY DRAGON" *Puts on dragon costume *Waits in bushes
@hippieswordfish: 'some ppl call me the space cowboy' um okay 'some call me the gangster of love' sir 'some call me m-' sir we just need a name for your latte