@Chonfucius: Eh wah eh wah eh wah eh wah joget joget joget joget joget gelek gelek gelek gelek gelek gelek lembek lembek lembek embek lembek lembek
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@TheMichaelRock: Recipes sound good until you realize that you don't have $846 worth of spices in your house.
@mattZillaaaa: So apparently a neighborhood watch is not watching bad stuff happen to your neighbor's home & then taking a nap
@FatherWithTwins: Me: Wow, 5k followers Wife: Is your top tweet still something I said? Me: Ya Wife: Then aren't they really MY followers? Me: *drinks heavily
@JPHaddadio: Don't you hate when you take a power nap and wake up 22 hours later and everybody at work is staring at you?