@reczit: Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone.
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@TheMichaelRock: I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she has a helmet with a flashlight on it, and a pick axe.
@daemonic3: Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys? *starts jigsaw puzzle from middle instead of edges*
@JJSummertime: My turd eating dog just spit out something I cooked if anyone wants to come to dinner.
@MrFornicator: When people ask me if I'm working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they're hurting hard or hardly hurting.