Good cop: Just relax
Moody cop: OMG, you again? I hate you, but I kinda misssed you, why don’t you call anymore? You’re going to jail
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All of Canada’s hate is stored in its geese.
Why go out and be a 3rd wheel when you can stay home and be a unicycle?
If flying by the seat of your pants was so easy, do you think I would still be dealing with morning traffic to get to work?
At 9 y/o I was obsessed with extraterrestrials & desperately wanted to be abducted. I’ve changed a lot since then, for instance, now I’m 42.
Fact: If you ever blow me a kiss, I’m catching it and sticking it down my pants.
RACCOON: I haven’t been feeling so good lately
DOCTOR: We’ll let’s see. Have you been staying up all night?
DOCTOR: What have you been eating?
DOCTOR: Well you’re doing all the right things
Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel.
Do not mess with bears. You’ll be their victim. Yogi Bear wears clothes. Where did he get his clothes? That’s right – a victim
“Wanna go camping?” “No thanks, I have a house.”