*spider falls on my desk*
*pulls fire alarm*
*stands in hallway & points firefighters toward my desk*
*emerges from a large magic lamp,* it’s me the Reasonable genie, please only wish for things like ‘drive me to the airport’
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Son: can we go to the park?
Me: no, it’s raining a little bit
Son: Dad, what does ‘gay’ means?
Father: It means ‘to be happy’.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.
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The word “brewery” sounds like a drunk guy slurring a better word
20 years ago I dreamed of traveling the world.
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