@FloodyHippie: Emma Stone is my girlfriend. Nobody tell her, though. I want it to be a surprise.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: I bet Santa has 3 lists now: Naughty, nice, and people who've left him healthy snacks instead of cookies.
@momthoughts13: How amazing is it when all your kids do what you've asked the first time? No, I'm asking. How amazing is it? I'd like to know.
@philmann: PILOT: if you look out the window you'll see we're cruising at 35,000 feet [i look out the window] [THE SKY IS FULL OF FEET JESUS CHRIST]
@notalogin: Headline: "Female-named hurricanes kill more than male hurricanes because people don't respect them, study finds". AKA, "My eye is up here".