@toomanytoes: "Endless shrimp" sounds nice until you realize they are serious. It's a threat. The shrimp will never stop.
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@PaulyPeligroso: People are all like "STAY OUTTA MY LIFE GOVERNMENT" and then they shut down and people are all like "COME BACK IN MY LIFE GOVERNMENT"
@Phantasmagoriax: If I ever die, my phone better go with me or there will be some pissed off people at my funeral.
@Brianhopecomedy: Bumped into my Ex again. I should really move her to a different part of the freezer.
@Im_Tricia: I wish there was a way to tell if this guy is being nice to me because he likes me or if it's just because he's Canadian.