We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@Rollinintheseat: Enter new password
Your password is two weeks
@HatfieldAnne: Nothing derails an argument in the kitchen like soft-close drawers.
@Area51eh: Girlfriend mentioned she was lacking iron in her diet.nnnI gave her all my wrinkled shirts.nnnAnd that's how the fight started.
@awesomeseank: Anyone who shows up late to work, wearing shades and clutching a Gatorade is about to tell a lie.
@JohnLyonTweets: These fireworks are awesome! High four!
@TheBoydP: What do you call someone waiting in line at the liquor store on the day before Thanksgiving?