If you’re buying your pregnancy test at the dollar store it’s probably because he bought is his condoms there too.
Firefly= not a fly
Butterfly= not a fly
Mayfly= not a fly
Stonefly= not a fly
Scorpionfly= not a fly
Bee louse= fly
This has been “Entomologic”
#entomologic #entomology #SciComm #bugjokes
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If you guys don’t do my “Funeral Ideas” Pinterest board justice at my funeral, I will haunt you so hard
*pinning ideas to “Haunting” board*
The self-checkout screen says “Finish and pay.” I feel like I’m with an irritable hooker.
To whom it may concern,
If you are reading this, that means there’s nothing you can do about it now.
I’ve been standing in IKEA with a lamp shade on my head for 3 days, hiding from the cops.
Hey,dogs barking, we get it: At the core of existence dwells an unspeakable malaise.
Here’s a crazy idea. What if Budweiser took all that advertising money and actually made better beer?
The past couple of nights, I’ve been partying like it’s 1999. But it’s not 1999. It’s 2018, and my body is furious.