Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their Gods lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
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Just been doing some DIY using my stepladder. Not my real ladder. I never knew my real ladder.
lapland disappeared when finland got up from a chair
Katy Perry is such an inspiration to all those young girls out there who want to grow up and ride giant golden tigers.
I dated a 21 year old for 3 months before she looked up from her phone and realized I wasn’t Tobey Maguire
Me: Who will I share the sunset with now?! *sobs*
Friend: Bad breakup?
Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn’t working.
My daughter’s favorite past-time is implementing psychological warfare on my son. I let it slide because one day he’ll have a wife.
Doctor: How long have you been in pain?
Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work
Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997
Cereal that makes them go back to sleep.