
My husband when I ask him a question while he’s standing next to me: Sorry, I didn’t hear you.
Also my husband:
Me: *clears throat*
Husband from different story of the house behind two closed doors: Are you coughing?? Do you have the Rona???
My husband when I ask him a question while he’s standing next to me: Sorry, I didn’t hear you.
Also my husband:
Me: *clears throat*
Husband from different story of the house behind two closed doors: Are you coughing?? Do you have the Rona???
7 barges into bathroom while I’m showering, laughs & says “I saw your peanut.”
He either mispronounced a word or made a hurtful observation.
The new Samsung phone shares every picture you take with all your friends as soon as you take it.
Good idea. What could possibly go wrong?
‘I just call it like I see it…’ -People giving their unsolicited opinion about their unsolicited opinions.
Me: *Holding a fist full of lit sparklers* How much for the aggressive incense?
[ First Date ]
Her: OMG, I’ve been talking about myself all night. Tell me a little bit about yourself..
Me: HODOR…
[in church]
“And Jesus, our saviour, died on the cross for your sins.”
[vicar points directly at me & entire congregation collectively nods]
I can count on my hook how many hands I’ve lost.
Girl can I ask you a question *gets down on one knee* would you like to make $8,000 a week working from home
Cat stuck in a tree? Have you tried placing a computer keyboard at the bottom?