@rolldiggity: Even scarier than seeing a shark fin in the water is seeing a lion mane, because you know the chase isn't over once you reach land.
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@MelvinofYork: Russel Crowe is my favorite actor named after a misspelled bird but Ethan Hawke is a close second
@markydoodoo: [Yelp review for Mario Bros Plumbing] Ate my mushrooms, killed ALL my turtles, stole my coin collection. 1 star. -Bowser K.
@CatsVsHumanity: Weird old lady in the elevator complimented my thongs. I was disgusted. Hours later that I realized she was talking about my sandals.