“Ramen”. – Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
ever since i put all my eggs in one basket i have received unsolicited egg advice, you dont know my life, you dont know what im all about
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You said clothes were 50% off
But not one woman in here is topless
That false advertising!
I’m from a generation that wouldn’t dare tell an adult that we were bored.
I just saved thousands on child support by never getting laid.
Imagine going to the gym and there’s someone on the treadmill on all fours galloping
Her: Even if I was trapped on a desert island with you, I still wouldn’t have sex with you.
Me: You’re thinking about sex in that situation? What is wrong with you? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO FOR FOOD, BRENDA?
1st wise man: I brought gold for the baby
2nd wise man: [hiding frankincense behind his back] actually that gold is from both of us
Is your wife single?
My eyes are up here, buddy. Stop looking at my spaghetti sauce stain.
At the polling station. Bodes well for Labour – loads of young people here. Or I might possibly be at the wrong primary school.