@tweetsbyrocket
@redpawn3
I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets.
Hold it, you’re talking about BABIES?
You Might Also Like
@redpawn3
@freypalm
Driver: My God… that weasel…
Onlooker: He just went… “pop”…
Weasel’s family: *sobbing*
Ice-cream man: I’ve got an idea for a song y’all.
@SkinnerSteven
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking
@BradBroaddus
My toddler puts his pants on just like everyone else.
One arm at a time.
@Steelers1972
A spider just fell from the ceiling and landed right in front of me and now I have to explain why a woman was screaming in my cubicle.
@SamSkoronski
Witches’ brews are full of newtrients.
@shutupmikeginn
0 torches: this is the correct amount for most situations
1 torch: ok if you’re exploring a cave
2+ torches: something bad is happening
@panmidwest
My lucky number is 17 so I’m really hoping that 2017 is finally going to be my year. Otherwise, I’ll have to change my lucky number again.
@c12h22o11balls
In Canada, elevators only come with a ‘hold door open’ button and a ‘hold door open longer’ button
@WineMummy
A game of cat and mouse, but it’s just me chasing random strangers when I see them with donut boxes.