I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets.
Hold it, you’re talking about BABIES?
was kung fu fighting, but i
was haiku writing
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Driver: My God… that weasel…
Onlooker: He just went… “pop”…
Weasel’s family: *sobbing*
Ice-cream man: I’ve got an idea for a song y’all.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking
My toddler puts his pants on just like everyone else.
One arm at a time.
A spider just fell from the ceiling and landed right in front of me and now I have to explain why a woman was screaming in my cubicle.
Witches’ brews are full of newtrients.
0 torches: this is the correct amount for most situations
1 torch: ok if you’re exploring a cave
2+ torches: something bad is happening
My lucky number is 17 so I’m really hoping that 2017 is finally going to be my year. Otherwise, I’ll have to change my lucky number again.
In Canada, elevators only come with a ‘hold door open’ button and a ‘hold door open longer’ button
A game of cat and mouse, but it’s just me chasing random strangers when I see them with donut boxes.