Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, I wonder how we’re supposed to imitate them on the dance floor.
Everybody looks down on Pinterest until they need a good recipe for homemade organic edible panties.
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Whoever decided on spelling “biscuit” really needs to get their shuit together.
My spirit animal is a cockroach because I refuse to give up and die.
Also I’m sorta crunchy.
if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people’s phones.
The year is 2020. Hip hop has fully merged with dubstep, creating the genre of music known as Dubhop. All hope for mankind is lost
Not to brag but I read the instructions before I did something today. I didn’t follow them, but still.
How can you tell if someone plays the bagpipes well?
Jesus: this is my body *breaks bread*
Jesus: this is my blood *pours wine*
Jesus: this your brain on drugs *throws a rabid weasel into the crowd*
The Ten Commandments of Ayn Rand #XmasAMovie
I don’t even like sleep, it’s just the only way I can eat spiders