@LoveNLunchmeat

Everybody looks down on Pinterest until they need a good recipe for homemade organic edible panties.

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@neiltyson

Now that robots move their limbs smoothly and with grace, I wonder how we’re supposed to imitate them on the dance floor.

@CodyJP9412

Whoever decided on spelling “biscuit” really needs to get their shuit together.

@SadieSkyNinja

My spirit animal is a cockroach because I refuse to give up and die.

Also I’m sorta crunchy.

@heidi420x

if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people’s phones.

@noog

The year is 2020. Hip hop has fully merged with dubstep, creating the genre of music known as Dubhop. All hope for mankind is lost

@TheBoydP

Not to brag but I read the instructions before I did something today. I didn’t follow them, but still.

@Megatronic13

Jesus: this is my body *breaks bread*

Jesus: this is my blood *pours wine*

Jesus: this your brain on drugs *throws a rabid weasel into the crowd*