CAUGHT IN A ?????
these freddie videos i swear-
Everyone makes fun of Aquaman, but he’s got it all figured out.
He spends all day chilling in the water.
His life is one big pool party.
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If you shout along to the last word of each sentence in the eulogy, you can turn any funeral into a Beastie Boys song.
One of the most effective forms of birth control is assembling furniture together as a couple.
*orders a medium pizza*
PIZZA: I’ve contacted your late grandmother. She wants you to know-
Told my friends that I was qualified to give them Botox injections. I raised a few eyebrows.
Hey people that knock on locked restroom doors, what are you expecting?
“hey I’m taking a shit but come on in and join me”
[Staring deep into David Schwimmer’s eyes]
“I’m afraid I only like you as a Friend”
[Disney Pitch Meeting]
Writer: So kids love puppies
Exec: Haha true
Writer: This movie is about skinning alive 101 of them
Exec: First off, it’s perfect
My husband said he’d gotten an idea for a gift for me from a show he’s been watching. I just realized that thanks to free HBO on Hulu he’s rewatching The Sopranos. Now I’m a bit concerned.