Yeah, but can your 25 year old girlfriend do this? *falls asleep standing up*
Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we’re liking Facebook posts as fast as we can
You Might Also Like
absolutely disgusting that we as a society are still okay with people making hats out of cowboys
Boy, are you a destination wedding? Cuz I can’t come.
Gets 5 hours of sleep: Wow I’m tired
Gets 8 hours of sleep: Wow I’m tired and I’m late for work
Listening to “Bad Company” by Bad Company from their album “Bad Company” how do they come up with this stuff
Wife’s been away since thursday, we ran out of spaghetti-o’s on friday, ate the dog yesterday, burned photo albums for heat today, pls help
“I was so high one time, I stopped at a stop sign for 20 minutes waiting for it to turn green.”
Flight attendant said I should exercise my legs then all of a sudden I’m ‘causing a scene’ and ‘I didn’t mean kickboxing.’
[tightening roller skates]
“stop worrying about me mom, I’m in a very dangerous gang, but we are really fast”
Wife: um our son has drawn a picture of Batman and Spider-Man beating someone up
Me: Oh no that’s so wrong!
Wife: I know!
Me: You don’t mix up Marvel and DC