@growingintoyouu

Everyone wanted to go viral so bad.

Universe: You got it.

You Might Also Like

@Marcmywords2

No thanks Olive Garden, the last place I wanna eat is somewhere that treats me like family.

@ArfMeasures

Son: This kid at school says really mean things to me
Me: I’ll have a word with him

[Later]
Son: How did it go, Dad?
Me [trying to hide my red eyes] do you think I look like a potato?

@GinRumMe

Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know.

@Jay1972Jay

My son, who is 10, just explained that the things he did when he was 7 no longer reflect the person that he is now.

I need a drink.

@WilliamAder

I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who’s going to eat them all anyway.

@JediGigi

I just tried to start my car with my phone. You should know that my car has a keyless ignition. I’m pretty.

@YesThatAmy

If I did the math right, 8 of you are serial killers and 1,246 of you are eating Nutella.

@craiguito

My ex used to say there was one person for everyone. I didn’t realise he planned to be that person