@UncleDuke1969: Probably just poor graphic design... Still not gonna drink from it.

@UncleBob56: What is it Lassie? Timmy fell down a well? Earthquake in LA? The Russians are coming? You found a plane? No? ...Oh, you want another beer.

@ericsshadow: [on a date] Play it cool don't let her know you're a refrigerator [her ex-boyfriend turns off the electricity] "This isn't cool man."

@QwertyJones3: KFC hitting the cannibal market

@SardonicTart: How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says "just cheer up," beat that person with a baseball bat.