EXCLUSIVE: Text of mysterious “second letter” to EU commissioners.
[Exchanging gifts at family’s house]
*family opens up my gifts
-uh, a history book?
Your Facebook post suggested that you needed it.
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Mother in law found me… On the twitter
This will be converted into a pineapple upside down cake blog for the next 72 hours.
I’m so sorry
No, I am not insulting you. I am just describing you.
– What do you do to relax?
– I enjoy people watching.
– The most relaxing thing for me is singing in the shower.
– I know.
Practice self-care like werewolves: carry deeply emotional secrets everywhere you go & once a month eat the hearts of all who have wronged you.
They say you are what you eat.
*opens a big bag of nuts
“I don’t have that many gray hairs. I’ll just pluck them out.”
aaaaand….now I’m bald.
ME: Got any hobbies?
DATE: I’m a big horse fan
ME: You’re thinking of a giraffe
Why did it have to be the dog? I have the hubby insured for $1.5 million.