I know a couple who’s kids names are Zayden, Izyan and Fender. They just named their new dog Dan.
Facebook is where you’ll find people sharing screenshots of sarcastic tweets and commenting “stupid”.
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HER: I just love a man who’s not afraid to be honest.
ME: *trying to impress* You sound really stupid right now.
A dog made of diamonds would be everyone’s best friend.
The steak that I put in the Easy Bake Oven as a child is still not done
Mr. Miller: I grind wheat into flour.
Mrs. Smith: I hammer iron on an anvil.
Mr. Duckworth: THAT MALLARD SHOULD COST $6.
My dog took his raw food upstairs and ate it in my bed. How’s your night going?
I hope when the Avengers meet Spider-Man they give him shit for not helping when NYC got attacked.
What if there were an elixir that made me want to fight a police horse
*our canoe tips over*
Do the things that bring you joy. Bake cookies. Take walks along the beach at sunset. Drink the blood of your enemies as part of an ancient incantation that opens a portal to the Underworld. Sing like no one can hear you.