@AbbieEvansXO
Me: My eyes are up here
Picasso: I disagree
@AmberDonn
Facebookers reacting to it snowing is very similar to a caveman reacting to seeing fire for the first time.
You Might Also Like
@AbbieEvansXO
@noog
Cigarettes only give you cancer if you let them. It’s called science. Maybe you’d know more about it if you read as many Yahoo Answers as me
@floydimus
“I’M NEVER DRINKING AGAIN!”
Brain: LOL
Empty bottles: LOL
Wine shop owner: LOL
New bottle: LOL
Bottle opener: LOL
Liver: LOL
Me: LOL
@envydatropic
Have kids first so that you know whether or not you can keep a dog alive
@protolalia
Looking for a job on Craigslist. A guy wants to pay $150 to borrow a valid driver’s license to rent a car. What could possibly go wrong?
@HousewifeOfHell
Pro tip: If he pretends he can’t hear you, talk some shit about his mother.
@mommajessiec
Tween and me: *arguing*
Husband: God, you two are just like each other.
Tween and me: WHATโD YOU SAY?
Husband: *jumps out window*
@Ophoenix1
I love Americans. You guys have the best serial killers.
@Habbibti
A grand jury is made up of a cross-section of the community.
I ride the train w/the cross-section & it’s mostly people peeing on the floor.
@Benjamin4501
All right stop, coagulate and thicken