When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
feb 14: i love everything about u
feb 15: don’t breathe like that
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BREAKING NEWS: Rihanna won’t be attending this year’s #MetGala after a back injury sustained from carrying the entire weight of the event for years.
HR said I have to stop yelling “let’s make a baby” every time I want to collaborate on a project with someone.
Oh, a BEAR hug. *starts putting clothes back on*
I’m quitting modelling, I need more job security so I’m going to become a princess.
And then I heard my mother’s voice come out of my mouth like a demonic possession, “Get your hands off my breakable ornaments!”
I’m like a kid. People like me best when I’m quiet or sleeping.
wife *comes downstairs* How long has my mom been here?
me: About an hour
wife *lets her in*
What a cute baby, what’s her name?
She’s gonna make a great grandmother
Secret Panel HERE 💥