@mrjohndarby: [finishes a 15 minute drum solo] I think that answers your question, your honor.
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@iwearaonesie: My grandfather built his house with his bare hands. I just groaned after I put my shoes on because now I have to tie them.
@TheTweetOfGod: I won't be satisfied until I have enough followers to form sects that fight about how to interpret My tweets until they kill each other.
@YourFavMexi_Can: "I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook.
@iamspacegirl: alien: take me to your leader me: take me to YOUR leader alien: *suddenly nervous* are you going to eat him?