@mrjohndarby: [finishes a 15 minute drum solo] I think that answers your question, your honor.
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@FilthyRichmond: Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out.
@ProdigyNelson: Lawyer: do you watch people use the bathroom? Defendant: no Lawyer: spell "ICUP" Defendant: I-C-U-P Judge: *softly* omg Jury: *whispering*
@HughGoesThere: Indiana Jones: I present the Ark of the Covenant, sacred crypt of the Ten Commandments. Rick from Pawn Stars: I’ll give you 25 bucks.
@serialmatrix: How school works: In class: 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: John had 4 apples.He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun's mass.