@dril: fired for "unleashing rats at work" which is bull shit first off because they don't make leashes for rats
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@k_lli: If you capitalize 'him' in your tweets I'm gonna automatically assume you're subtweeting god.
@RegularFred: Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn't have a barbed wire tattoo.
@lisaxy424: me: I ONLY GOT 3 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT AND I FEEL GREAT MY BODY HAS FINALLY LEARNED TO EFFECTIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY USE ENERGY me, 4 minutes later: o god i am dying
@TheHyyyype: *young people decide to avoid hard drugs and lead healthier lifestyles* BUSINESS INSIDER HEADLINE: millenials are killing the meth industry