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@T_Bonezzz_: [FIRST DATE]
Her: I’m a vegan
Me: [*trying to impress her] People hate me too
@Underchilde: Wore a hospital gown to work today and faked a cough for 5 minutes, and they said I could have the break room all to myself.
@GrabTheWEness: It was an unfortunate incident, but at least Doug learned he should never lick his light saber after using it to cut chocolate cake.
@5oulhealer: My 7yo gave up a simple joke thats good enough 2 laugh at.
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Cause it was stuck on the chicken's foot!
or not B2...
That might be the number.
--Shakespearean Bingo Caller
@SomthinBoutSara: Just came to the realization that my ten year high school reunion will be in 10 months. I have about nine days to get married and pregnant.