If you have more than 4 kids I automatically refer to you as a hoarder.
I just love that you are a normal, cool girl.
*subtly slides macaroni art of your face back under my chair*
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May rob a bank just to get a few short, sweet years away from the kids.
[Password weak. Password accepted, but system cannot respect you.]
shout out to anyone that’s used a tube of super glue more than once
He has a rotisserie glow about him tonight…
“I said, ‘No’”
– me, about to give my dog my sandwich
you play enough angry birds and you realize: the angry bird is you.
You cause one minor incident at a museum and everyone is “Irreplaceable Egyptian mummy” this and “Could have used regular toilet paper” that
How did people charge their phones before electricity?