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@eff_yeah_steph: [first day as a vampire]
*squirts ranch on your neck*
@BGH70: I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me.
@Michael_Erhart: *Hears a joke about a chocolate bar*
@maebemarbles: "Ugh, it's so dark!" *shivers* "And cold! Why is it so huge? It's, like, jeez, does it go on forever?!"
- Larry, the worst astronaut
@Thynebear: if a cop pulls u over play dead
@Home_Halfway: Home Alone 3: Take the Hint, Kevin