A Girl on Twitter, finally gave birth,Now she’s been tweeting her baby pics every 20min & Makes me feel I am raising her child with my Data
First rule of flight club…no penguins.
You Might Also Like
Getting arrested must suck! Not only do you get arrested, you have to make a phone call!!
Nice guys finish last, cause stamina.
Me: How much for the selfie stick?
Him: Sir, that’s an Olsen twin.
Me: I’ll take it.
I’m eating strawberries in the bath while watching a spider kill a ladybug. I feel like I’m in a silent French film about sex and death.
People: cheer up, things could be worse
Anxiety: and here are some detailed scenarios how
I’m sorry I said, “I bet she’s got a great personality,” when you showed me a picture of your baby.
I wish I lived in the 20s so I could wear hats, smoke cigarettes and say stuff like, “Hey big cheese, this giggle water is the cat’s meow.”
[ ] single
[ ] taken
[X] waiting for the spaceship to return
On a road trip passing a billboard that says live girls dancing daily.
My daughter’s voice from the backseat, “wow, that’s a lot of recitals.”