@notalogin

First they came for the people who say “Awesome sauce,” and I said nothing, because, frankly, those people deserve it.

You Might Also Like

@PaulyPeligroso

They call Japan the “Land of the Rising Sun”. Is that why they look like they’re squinting all the time?

@CarolineCasey

We were so high at the movies that I tried find my seatbelt and my friend helped me look for it.

@JimmerThatisAll

Sure, make fun of my cargo shorts but sooner or later you’re going to need a martini shaker or a map of 11th century France.

@THEDUTHCHESS

My ex husbands Voicemail was a trick one where he’d say “Hello Hello, so you think he’d answered and that’s why he’s dead.

@tease

posting a sc story for 1 specific person to see is the modern day equivalent of gatsby hosting elaborate parties in hopes that daisy attends