Werewolves in the 80’s destroyed so much denim.
First they came for the people who say “Awesome sauce,” and I said nothing, because, frankly, those people deserve it.
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I’ve got a really bad feeling about this bathroom, you guys.
They call Japan the “Land of the Rising Sun”. Is that why they look like they’re squinting all the time?
We were so high at the movies that I tried find my seatbelt and my friend helped me look for it.
Mum, that’s not a picture of Jesus
if we all get face tattoos…they cant not hire all of us
Sure, make fun of my cargo shorts but sooner or later you’re going to need a martini shaker or a map of 11th century France.
My ex husbands Voicemail was a trick one where he’d say “Hello Hello, so you think he’d answered and that’s why he’s dead.
posting a sc story for 1 specific person to see is the modern day equivalent of gatsby hosting elaborate parties in hopes that daisy attends
Essential oils are what drips out of tacos.