@SomeChrisTweets: Foal me once, I have a baby horse. Foal me twice, no one needs this many baby horses. Foal me thrice, please stop. I have no room for them.
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@howe007: If you can start the toilet paper roll without clawing it like a velociraptor then you're a wizard.
@NicestHippo: *points to refrigerator* That makes things cold *points to stove* That makes things hot *points to self* That makes things awkward
@thatdutchperson: *strips naked* "Magic mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Cops: he knows we can see him from this side, right?
@3sunzzz: The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.