@obviousplant_: Follow these tips for a happy Thanksgiving. Printable version available on FB:
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@QuotingJokes: I love how the Ninja Turtles wear masks to hide their identity. It's not like you're a giant turtle or anything.
@slimmy_shady: Her: "How is it possible for anyone to be an idiot all the freakin time!" Me: "I know, I'm completely exhausted."
@hamspamtymaam: If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they've been drinking in order to establish dominance.